Loving Him is a Sin
by ladyofanarchy
Summary: She was from a world of privilege, money and innocence. He was from a world of death, danger and sin. What happens when sin meets innocence? Rated M for Strong Sexual activity BSDM and language. Chibs/OC (Co-write w/ ArticAlphaFemale)
1. Chapter 1

Her skin felt warm sitting on the second-story roof outside her bedroom window. Dawn had just broke and the sky had filled with a mixture of orange and yellow hues, much like the flame from her lighter that she used to light her second cigarette. Cancer was at the bottom of her list of worries for today.

Today was the first day of another school year. Senior year that would continue the pattern of unwanted responsibilities and an image to uphold, not only at school but also in the small town of Charming, California. Madeline Hayes didn't always call this place home. It had barely been six months since the move from San Francisco where she was born and raised the majority of her life. To say that she was born to privilege would be an understatement.

The Hayes family was what some would call 'country club set.' Richard Hayes was the head CEO of a software company based in the Bay area while his wife Elizabeth was a financial management consultant in Sacramento. Because both of Madeline's parents constantly traveled for work, she was able to have times like these to herself. Granted, she still had to get her nicotine high out on her roof as to not have the house reek of smoke.

She took another drag from the stick that settled loosely between her thin fingers. She watched as more ash gathered at the end of it. She didn't want to leave the spot that she was currently occupying. It was peaceful, she was at peace, everything was… good.

A slight breeze started, which was a rarity this time of year, blowing some blonde strands in her face that she didn't bother to brush away. Madeline finished off her cigarette, scrapping it out on one of the roofs shingles and flicking it into the gutter with the other hundreds from previous nights like these.

'Yeah,' she thought to herself, 'I'm really going to have to clean these soon.'

And with a sigh she stood up, dusted the back of her night bottoms and crawled back through her bedroom window. She needed to get ready. She _needed_ to act the role she was so used to playing and others were so used to seeing. She _needed_ to be Madeline Hayes, California sweetheart that had everything. She _needed_ to play the part for her parents. She _needed_ to plaster on the fake smile.

"I just _need_ to get through this," she said looking at herself in her vanity mirror, "I just _need_ to get through today."


	2. Chapter 2

She stood staring doe-eyed at the reflection in the wardrobe mirror. Blue eyes that could change from deep and soulful to heavy-lidded and vacant, slowly skimmed the reflection that stood in front. Her skin was fair like a porcelain doll, yet she did hold some color. The essences of summer, a goddess of the sun golden hair draped down softly over her shoulders.

Biting down on her pale pink lips that looked like a rose bud, the top lip was thinner, but not too thin, and it had a natural cupid's bow; the bottom larger and more full. She continued to bite down on her bottom lip, rolling it between her teeth. This was a behavior that her mother had tried multiple times to rid her daughter of what she deemed a nasty habit but ultimately to no avail.

She was snapped out of her thoughts from her mouth unexpectedly tasting of strawberries. Her eyes caught herself playing with her bottom lip between her teeth, tasting the strawberry gloss she had put on beforehand. Even though she was caught, she still didn't stop the act – it gave her comfort, relief even.

She switched her gaze to her body. She was slim but had distinct curves in all the right places. Her chest was prominent but not too much for her body to be disproportionate. She was still able to get away without wearing a bra.

She was told many times how attractive she was though she never agreed. They saw captivating, beautiful and well off while she saw nothing but boring, repulsive and failing.

Beeps from her cellphone brought her out of her thoughts again. She took a few steps towards her nightstand where the noisy device was laying. Looking at the screen her lips couldn't help but form a smile.

'Oh, dear sweet Shay,' she thought to herself.

With her bag on her shoulder and phone in hand, she closed the bedroom door behind as she made her down the hallway towards the steps. The walls were high and embellished with obnoxiously priced paintings that her mother seemed to bring home every time she returned home from a business trip.

'Unnecessary and useless things,' Madeline shook her head of unwanted negative thoughts as her phone went off again.

"Bitch, there had better be a very valid reason as to why you didn't answer my text message this morning, like having sex, but I know your not popping that cherry pussy anytime soon."

Maddie laughed on her end of the phone, "I was getting dressed for school, does standing naked count?"

"Yes, yes it does. So what color are your panties?" Shay said on the phone.

Maddie knew her best friend ran both ways and had offered many times to be her first but she had always declined the offer.

"...SHANE!?" she shouted into the phone as she descended down the stairs.

"WHAT...?" She was laughing even harder after Maddie had called her by her real name.

"It's not funny! Sometimes I think you really wanna fuck me just so you could rub it in all the guys faces at school."

"Well, could you blame me love? We've been friends since like the womb and shit. I was your first kiss, so why not let me be first in tasting that cherry?"

Maddie blushed a deep red as she remembered her first kiss from Shay, "Because you're my best friend/sister and that is just so freaking gross."

Again Shay was laughing, "Oh god you're so fucking easy to rile up in the morning. I got your coffee, so come meet me outside my house in like 20 minutes. That way you can avoid the monsters… I mean parentals."

"Haha, real funny Shay. My parents aren't that bad."

"Riiiight, keep telling yourself that. If they had it their way, you'd be married to my stiff ass older half brother Ronald with 2.0 kids running half his business and sucking his small ity bity tiny non existent dick each night for the rest of your unnatural boring lives! God, he is so fucking boring and fat!"

Maddie could hear all the disgust in Shay's voice over her older half brother. Shay's parents were divorced because her mother (Josie) had cheated on her father (Derek) with another man (John) in the beginning of their marriage and had a secret child (Ronald). Josie had Shay and her twin Gavin four years later when Ron's father came to their home demanding that she pay more child support. Needless to say, her father left her ass, took the kids, and left her with nothing but the clothes on her back.

Madeline's mom, Elizabeth, felt sympathy for Josie and that was how Ron came into the equation. Elizabeth had helped Josie start her own catering/baking company that was currently well known throughout the states. Ron was 21, going on 22, and had always liked Maddie, from the time she was born until now even. Though every time they were in the same vicinity as each other, he would always watch her with a nasty look.

Elizabeth hated Shay and Vin but loved Ron. Sometimes she thought, if given the chance, that her mom would sell her to Ron. But her dad, Richard, was on his daughter's side. He hated Ron but loved Shay and Vin. This caused somewhat of a division between the two spouses. Her dad felt that Derek had done the right thing and he sympathized with him more. He hated when both Josie and Ron came to visit. Sometimes he would disappear with Maddie for hours until it was safe and the unwanted guests were gone or even staying away for a few days when they stayed in their guest house. Richard wanted Ron as far away from his daughter as possible.

"EARTH TO MADDIE!" Shay yelled into the phone, bringing Maddie out of her deep thoughts.

"Sorry! I was lost in thought again."

"I see. Look babe, just meet me here soon please. I think I can hear my dad calling me."

Shay pulled the phone away from her ear and yelled, "One sec!" before putting it to her ear again, "Okay, see you soon babe."

"Yeah, love."

Madeline put her phone in her bag and grabbed her car keys. They had sat in a bowl near the kitchen door that lead to a large garage. With a click of a button she raised the garage door and unlocked her car. She loved her car; it gave her freedom. Her mother had tried to talk her out of it, saying that this care was not for young ladies. Madeline didn't care. The minute she laid eyes on the 1967 Ford Mustang Raceback she fell in love.

Once inside, her skin against the soft velvet seats that were maroon in color, she turned on the engine and it started to purr. She connected her phone to the car stereo and selected track 54. With all windows down and her hair already starting to blow in the breeze, Madeline backed out of the driveway and headed in her best friends direction.


	3. Chapter 3

Author's note:

Thank you to every follower and everyone who has saved this story under their favorites. This story could not be possible if it wasn't for my co-writer, ArticAlphaFemale. She is the creator of the OCs bff Shay who is truly one of a kind and I love writing her.

Now, please forgive the length of this note but it's important.

The timeline of this story is set post-Jax.

I wanted to add another warning to readers in regards to the future of this story. There will be very strong adult themes and scenes that might trigger some – BDSM, dominance, sexual situations, and underage relationships. The story was essentially created with the word Taboo in mind.

It's about a girl, practically a woman, trying to find her footing in the world. She isn't sure who she really is because she's been putting on masks to please everyone. This is true teenage angst and self-discovery.

This story will include photos that involve character outfits, cars, houses and what not to aide in visuals, as well as music that has influenced the writing. The music will continue to update as the story progresses. Since I have not found a decent website to house these photographs in categories per chapter, I've created a wix website for the story and the link is located in my profile.

FYI – I know nothing about ballet or French. If you do and there is a scene written badly, I do apologize and don't mean any offense. I've tried my best to do my research in both areas.

And of course, we writers do not own anything SOA by Kurt Sutter, only our OC's.

Thanks again everyone!

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"Da-Aaaammn, wench. You got here pretty fast. I take it you didn't wanna play nice with monster dearest today?" Shay asked as she opened Maddie's car. Before hopping inside she threw her bag in the backseat.

"No. No I didn't. And where's my coffee?"

"Here, hoe." Shay passed a tall-lidded cup of coffee to her.

"So anyway, " Shay started, "You know that guy, the one I've been fucking on and off again for a while?"

Maddie sipped her coffee as she tried to count on her other hand, extending her fingers to represent the numbers while her eyes looked up towards the roof the car making it seem like she was in deep thought, "Yeah, sorry. I've seemed to have lost count."

Shay reached over and flicked Maddie's breast causing Maddie to yelp in displeasure.

"Okay, okay, the biker dude, right? Something about him not being a Son or something? What's his name again?"

"Tony… He isn't one yet, still a prospect. I think he said he's got about two or so months left for probation and then he's full patch."

Maddie listened to her best friend as she pulled out and headed in the direction of their school. Sons? Probations? Patches? These terms meant nothing to Madeline. She only knew of them from the occasional risqué stories she heard from Shay. The whole biker persona just didn't interest her.

"And your dad is okay with that?" Maddie asked turning her blinker on before making their turn. She had one hand on the wheel and the other holding on securely to her drink.

"Oh fuck me, I'm eighteen years old! Ain't much he can say 'sides that I better graduate or I'm out of the house with no money and shit."

"Hmm." Maddie hummed in answer as she took another drink of the hot liquid that would hopefully get her through this day or at least the first hour of French honors. The urge to yawn came just thinking about it. She was already practically fluent in the language and didn't really need the class but thought it would just be an easy credit.

"Anyway, " Shay continued, snapping Maddie out of her thoughts, "Tony said they're having a patch party Friday for the three that came in before him or something. You wanna go with me?"

"You know I can't Shay. I have that retreat thing with my dad this weekend."

Shay turned to face her friend who had just pulled into the crowded parking lot of their high school.

"You mean with my egg donor and stiff ass half brother are coming over for the weekend again, huh?" She asked giving a face of disgust.

Finally finding an empty parking place, Maddie put the car in park and turned off the engine.

"Yeah, dad really reeeeally hates both of them… So much. But we're going to San Fran to visit my Aunt until they leave on Sunday. And also, my dad wanted to know if you and Gav want to join us? We'll be back Monday evening."

Both the young women were out of the car by now and already walking towards the high school along with a mob of other students, bags in hand.

"Bitch hell yeah!" Shay said rather loudly, getting a few looks from some of the students that just happened to be in close proximity to hear the colorful language that came out of Shays mouth with finesse. She noticed a couple of people looking at her in which she responded with just her middle finger and continued her conversation.

"Tony can go a couple days without the poonany. Plus, I love your Aunt Roxy! She's so fucking cool."

"Nice, so, make sure you bring your packed bag when I picked you up in the morning because we are leaving right after school."

"Fuck. Okay, I'll tell Gavin tonight and ask dad."

They were nearing the front doors of their school when Shay reached her hand over to lightly shove her friend, "Thanks for including us."

Maddie smiled and rolled her eyes, "You're my best friend Shay, my sister even. I will always include you… And Gavin is my gay brother."

Both girls laughed as they walked through one of the four double doors. Once they were a few steps in they stopped. The familiar hallway and doors and that odd smell hit them in the face. It was officially true – school had started and this would be their last year in this building.

"You ready for this?" Maddie asked looking around at all the other students. You could always tell the freshman's apart from the others besides maybe size. They were usually always the ones speed walking up and down the halls like lost puppies. If it weren't tragic she'd find it humorous.

"We have a fucking choice?"

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Madeline tapped her pen against her upper thigh while staring at the dry erase board. It was crammed with French pronouns and sayings written in red just to refresh the students. She wasn't interested in what the board said as she continued to keep the tempo with her pen to the music piece playing in her head.

5th position, preparation 1st port de bras, arm to 2nd… demi plié, arm 2nd… Cou de pied right foot front in fondu, arm 5th en avant…

Her mind continued to play out the sequence of steps, pen to thigh, and eyes still on the board. The only French on her mind was her dancing.

"Miss Hayes… Êtes-vous chez nous?" (Miss Hayes… Are you with us?) Her French teacher, Mrs. Wallace asked Madeline when she noticed that she was in a daze, which she knew from having her in previous classes that this was a common thing.

Nothing.

Mrs. Wallace asked again, "Es tu?" (Are you?)

Again, nothing.

"Terre à Madeline!" (Earth to Madeline!)

Madeline dropped her pen. It smacked against the linoleum with a clank. Her eyes shot straight to her teacher. Blinking a few times she responded with an apology just before the bell rang, "Je m'excuse."

Madeline reached down to grab her pen. She placed it in her bag along with her textbook before draping it over her shoulder and heading out the door. She walked down one of the many halls to get to her locker. She had a few minutes before her next class. One hand held the strap of her bag, keeping it on her shoulder while her other one continued where she left off. Her delicate fingers moved in all directions, extending and bending into a smooth rhythm. One would think that she had on invisible earphones listening to music on the highest volume notch. She was completely oblivious and in her own world so the couple cat calls from a couple guys on the basketball team went unnoticed.

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The rest of the day was uneventful. She ate lunch with Shay on the side of the building under the tree. They both then had to separate to go off to different classes. By the time her final class came along, Madeline was mentally drained. But she had waited all day for this.

She opened the wooden double doors, the familiar weight of them giving her a rush of adrenaline for what was on the other side. A few other girls in sweats, some in shorts were up against the wall stretching before class officially started. After lunch Madeline had already changed into her yoga pants, oversized tank that she tied in the back, exposing a bit of her flat stomach. She reached into her bag and pulled out her pointe shoes – she would need these in a bit.

For right now she slipped on her foot padding so she could keep good footing on the wooden floor. After bending over and reaching her toes, palms flat against the floor to stretch her back she joined the other girls against the wall and grabbed the barre in her hand.

There was no doubt in anyone's mind that Madeline Hayes was the most advanced ballet dancer in the classroom. Her positions and feet were always in right form and every move she made on pointe was flawless. The feeling she got when she danced was unexplainable. She was free.

After the class ended, Madeline stayed after to continue practicing. She pulled her yoga pants off and tossing them with the rest of her things. She was thankful that she wore shorts underneath. She sat near the stereo to wrap and pad her feet for her pointe shoes. Sliding each on her foot, one at a time, wrapping the ribbons around her ankle. When they were secure she leaned over and connected her phone to the cable and flicked through her music collection. There really wasn't a genre she couldn't practice to.

After scrolling through she finally landed on one with a smile forming on her lips. Wish You Were Here by Pink Floyd, one of her favorites.

Madeline pressed play. She waited for the guitars to get louder before she slowly walked to the middle of the room. She slowly extended her left leg up, her torso tilting to the right. Her left arm was wrapped around her stretched leg while her other arm slowly stretched out. Getting back into original position she was on her first turn, rolling her feet up into pointe.

She was trained classically but loved to mix in contemporary and use nontraditional music.

She squatted down to the floor, knees bent while still on her toes. Her torso bent to the left and then the right like a snake being lured out of its basket. The muscles in her stomach tightened and she was back in position.

When the song ended, Madeline exhaled hard. A good few strands of her blonde hair stuck to her forehead with sweat. She glanced at the clock above the giant mirror and went over to her phone. There were four our new text messages from Shay - all containing colorful words and asking where she was. She didn't mean to be so long.

"Meet me by my car. 5 mins." She texted back, grabbing her things and heading out the wooden doors.


	4. Chapter 4

Author's note: Sorry for taking so long to update. This chapter is on the short side but I wanted to put something out there. Reviews always welcome and appreciated.

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"I'm like damn bitch where the fuck have you been? I almost got into a fight with Cory and her goons, and your weren't here to help me." Shay pouted as she saw Maddie heading towards the car.

"I'm sorry Shay bear, I really am, but you know how I get when the urge to dance calls me like a moth to a flame." Maddie replied in a humorous poetic tone, smirking as she unlocked the doors so that they could get in.

"I called my old man and twin to give them both the 411 about the weekend. My dad is cool with it but Gavin has some shit he has to do with boyfriend number three." Shay said rolling her eyes and as she put her feet up on the dash.

Maddie pulled out of the school parking lot continuing to listen to her bff's rant.

"Boyfriend number three?"

"Yeah… he dumped Cory's older brother like four months ago. That's why she's been bitchin at us heavy lately."

"So we're her targets because she's too scared to go after Gavin?"

" Pretty much. Sad, isn't it? The third popular girl in school is hating on the first and second because she's scared of my brother." Shay snorted, "She should be more afraid of me since I'm the hitter in the family. Gavin can rack some shit but I fuck shit all the way up and them 'sum. Stupid fucking cunt…"

"Wait… so who's the first and second?"

"Bitch! Are you being serious right now? We are. Jeez, when you dance it's like you go into this damn trance and forget the world." Shay sighed.

She was right. Whenever Maddie danced she entered another world and when she stopped it took a bit for the high to wear off.

Shay continued, "As of this school year we, meaning me and you, are the most popular girls at Charming High. We out did Jax Teller and Harry Winston before they dropped out."

"Why do those names sound so familiar?" Maddie asked out loud, mainly to herself. She knew she had heard those names before but couldn't exactly remember when and why.

"Because Jax Teller was that sexy blonde biker that offed himself two years ago, remember? And Harry aka Opie..."

A light went off in her head as she remembered who he was.

"Opie! Yeah I remember now. He was my dad's mechanic at TM. Oh goodness, didn't he die as well?" Maddie's face turned red from just thinking about him.

"Yeah, he married the new porn queen of Cara Cara, Lyla. She got his kids from his first marriage and her own son. Wait… did you still have a crush on him?"

Maddie didn't answer as if she didn't hear her friend's question. It was an innocent crush. He was always sweet to her when her father brought her along to the garage for tune-ups.

"Ope was real nice but he wasn't into kiddies. Tig would have been your man if he wasn't fucking my Godmother."

"Godmother? You have a godmother and never tell me?" Maddie felt a little betrayed that Shay wouldn't share that little fact with her especially since they both already shared so much with each other since the beginning of their friendship.

"Yeah her name is Venus and she's the shit. I mean, where do you think I get all my clothing and makeup advice? I text or call her whenever I go shopping. My dad said that couldn't tell anyone, not even you, 'til my last year of school. He didn't want people judging her or us."

"It's okay Shay, I understand. Hurt but I get it… Wait Venus as in VENUS VAN DAMME?!" Maddie's eyes left the road as her head turned in the direction of the passenger seat.

"Calm down before you kill us both!" Shay pointed towards the road in front of them, getting Maddie's attention back to driving before she continued.

"Well, you know my dad owns his own financial law firm right? Well let's just say that she's loaded and is one of my dad's favorite clients and has been since before we were born. He brought her home a day after he divorced bitcharella, to play this joke on Gavin and me about them marrying but it backfired. We love her to death. Anyway, long story short, she has always been around. That's how I got to know the Sons Of Anarchy. In fact, since the Teller-Morrow family died, my dad has become their new financial advisor."

Maddie didn't respond. She found herself in her head again thinking about all the connections she was uncovering to the MC.

The rest of the car ride to Shay's house was quiet except for the car stereo pumping out the guitar rifts of an old Nirvana song.

"Don't forget about San Francisco." Madeline said as she pulled in to the driveway. One hand left the wheel to put the car in park, then to the volume nob that she lowered.

Shay was already in the process of getting out of the car. She leaned in the back to grab her bag and then shut the car door.

"I'm so horny but that's okay, my will is good." Shay sang and leaned through the open window to kiss Maddie on the side of the lips. She turned away and headed toward her house door, still singing to herself.

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Visiting San Francisco and Aunt Roxy came and went too quickly. Not only was it visiting a home that Madeline missed but it was also visiting her favorite relative. Roxy De Rue was a well-known surrealist painter in the Bay area. Her clothing and general style was just as colorful as her creations. Madeline and Shay spent most of the visit in the company of her – underground art meet-ups, vegan cooking that actually wasn't that bad, and roaming the streets of Haight and Ashbury.

Back in Charming and a month into the school year Madeline found herself with déjà vu. She was again trying to get out of Shays invitation to a party the local MC was putting on tonight.

"Both of your 'rents are out of town!"

"Yeah, I know but Patel's research paper is do soon and I-…" Maddie was cut off by Shay.

"No excuses this time!" she said between gritted teeth with a hint of frustration to her tone, "'cides, we all know that you are the only one that has that bitch paper already done."

Both women rolled their eyes at each other as Madeline closed her locker door. It was true; she had been making up excuses these past few weeks to accompany her friend to an MC party put on by their local motorcycle club. It was also true that she had research paper on the perception of exile in literature a couple days after it was assigned.

Maddie knew of SAMCRO but most of her knowledge of them was from the stories that Shay told her. These parties apparently happened regularly somewhere in town, she wasn't sure exactly where. She knew Shay had mentioned the location a few times before but honestly didn't care to make a mental note of it, as she would never be going to one. Was it the garage? She was there a few times as a child with her dad but the memories were vague when it came to description. But images of old men covered in hair and tattoos, reeking of booze came to mind whenever she tried to imagine what these parties must look like and it made her skin crawl.

She side and gave in.

"Fine. I'll go. But…" she started to bite her bottom lip, "what does one wear to one of those?"

Shay gave her a rather cheeky grin and draped her arm around Maddies shoulder.

"Leave it to me babe, leave it to me."

Maddie bit down harder on her bottom lip. She just knew she was going to regret this.

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"Absolutely not! No! No-uh, no way!" Madeline shouted while giving Shay and the piece of clothing a wide-eyed stare. Her arms were crossed tightly against her chest as she clenched her mouth turning away from her friend, throwing herself face first on top the bed.

"Oh come on," Shay shook the short strapless dress made out of black leather at her, "Live a little!"

"That's not what I call living a little!" She mumbled. Her face and lips were pressed up against the blankets and the mattress causing her words to come out muffled. She lifted her head, "Besides… that sort of stuff works with you, but with me…"

Shay rolled her eyes and threw the dress in Madeline's direction. It landed on her head, completely covering her face.

"Get changed."

Madeline protested under the heavy dress with a loud grunt. She was not moving off of that bed.

"Oh! That's good! Make those noises at the party and you might get lucky."

Shay wrapped her hand around her friends arm and pushed her in the direction of the bathroom before Maddie could respond. Maddie blindly found her way to the entryway, dress still over her head.

"Have I told you that I hate you?" her voice muffled under the fabric.

"Yeah, yeah. Love you too babe." Shay continued to dig through her closet for her heels.


End file.
